Sunday, February 12, 2012

Still Healing

Today is Sunday, so JC and I headed out the door early this morning to be there for the early service (8am, way too early in my opinion) JC thought it would be a good idea to stand in front of the congregation and share the story of our Maggie Grace. We wanted them to hear from us what happened and how we are coping spiritually and emotionally. We did the same with the youth group this past Wednesday. As JC told the story at both services, the tears rolled down my face and I relived that day and how we lost our little girl. The pain of that day is still very real and fresh but our hope is always restored as we imagine the day we get to be with her in Heaven! 

Last night JC and I talked about what our little girl would look like in Heaven... I imagine her being a cute little 4 year old girl with light brown curly hair with a little barrette in it and an adorable dress and being eager to play with mommy. JC imagines her being an 18 year old who he can have conversations with and relate to. I think we have different ideas based on the ages we feel most comfortable with. No matter what she will look like, we both look forward to seeing our beautiful little girl!

Last night I took a bath, while I was in there I missed my big pregnant belly and seeing my little girl move. I ran my fingers over my stretch marks on my belly thinking about how much love I have for my little girl and thinking about the future babies that will grow in my tummy. 

I am trying to be patient with my body healing, but all I want to do is sit ups to get rid of my belly! I still have about two weeks of recovery until I see my doctor for my six week check up. So I am not suppose to do heavy exercising  or lift anything heavier than ten pounds. But I am itching to get going and loss my "baby weight"... I've got about 20 pounds to lose. Of course I want to speed this whole process up, so I can get pregnant again but I have to keep reminding myself it's all in God's timing. The Lord is defiantly working on my patients, and I know that I need to work on being more patient! 

As we head into this week I am excited for my first "Apples of Gold" Bible study tomorrow with some wonderful ladies from the church. I am excited to learn how to cook meals, be in the word and grow as a woman and a wife! And of coarse I am excited for Valentine's Day, I think we are just staying home and enjoying the day together... no big plans, but I am totally ok with that!! 

xoxoxo Bee


  1. I look forward to the day when I can tell Cameron the story of his cousin Maggie and how strong his aunt and uncle were. You are an inspiration to us all, Bee and J! I hope that as each day passes, God provides you with the strength and peace needed to get through until you see her again! Love you both so much!

  2. A friend of mine, Chloe, gave me the link to your blog. I lost my baby boy 6 weeks ago. So many of the things you are saying are exact thoughts & feelings I've had (I started backwards reading your blog) I too hope to have another baby soon, but I NEED to lose the babyweight from this pregnancy first, it gets so frustrating to have to wait sometimes!