Tired

Yesterday JC did a message on Job for the youth group. As I listened to him speak about all the things Job lost; his livestock, home, all ten of his children, his wife left, and he became covered in boils. I couldn't help but feel like Job, especially of late. 


Tuesday was Valentine's day and that morning I was so sad thinking about how much I was looking forward to dressing Maggie up in a cute outfit for her daddy. I can't help but think about what she would look like now being over a month old. I miss her everyday but I know she is at peace and in the arms of her Lord and of course her Grandma Honey (my mom). As I write this I just received news that my Grandma Tuccitto just passed away, she is my mom's mother. Heaven has gained another angel today and I can rejoice in knowing that my mom is finally reunited with her mom! 


As I sit here thinking about the days I spent at Grandma's house, all the nights spent with her and falling asleep to her counting my ribs and loving me the only way a Grandma can love her grandchild. I just feel so broken and tired of feeling so broken and in some ways hopeless. When will the good days come? When will good news come our way? Again feeling like Job and wondering why God is taking so many things away so close together! " The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised." Job 1:21 I feel as though I have no tears left to cry, my heart is broken and sad. However I know that God will create good from all that has happened! The following is my life verse and one that I hold dear to my heart especially in times when I feel hopeless.


"For I know the plans I have for you." declares the Lord, " plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you HOPE and a FUTURE." Jeremiah 29:11


So I know that God has a plan and his plan is perfect. Like in the story of Job, even though many things have been taken from me I will not curse the name of the Lord. I will keep my eyes on him and my faith in him. For blessed be the name of the Lord!