|Zeke at 14 weeks old|
|Zeke at 10 weeks old|
We have now been in our new house for a little over a week and are all settled in, it's amazing how fast you can get situated in a house when you only have to work a couple times a week! Some parts of me miss the old house, but like I said before I am thankful for a new start in a new home!
|Our sweet baby girl!|
|Me 1 week before my due date!|
Tomorrow would have been Maggie's 4 month birthday! 4 months ago I was able to see her face for the first time; 4 months ago I had my big pregnant belly feeling her move; 4 months ago I was up at night with heart burn because of all that hair she had; 4 months ago I was dreaming of her future; 4 months ago I was longing to hold her: 4 months ago I was filled with excitement; 4 months ago JC was anxiously waiting with me. 4 months ago was one of the worst days of my life. Has it only been 4 months ago that I was pregnant with our beautiful baby girl? How fast and slow time has gone by, how I long to have another baby growing in my belly, I still get emotional when I see babies wishing and hoping that God will grant us another baby.
Somedays I wonder if God allowed us to lose our first born because he was angry with us or because we did something wrong. I know that is not true or a good way to look at it, but when you have had such crummy things happen to you in only two years time you can't help but think that way sometimes. You can't help but think and wonderGod what have I done to deserve this?" God knows my heart, he knows how I'm feeling, he has only given me things I can handle with him... sometimes I wish he didn't' think so highly of me because I think life would be much easier and maybe even a little boring!
As time goes on I can feel my heart healing, I can feel my heart being restored, I can feel my hope being restored. As time goes on I am looking to the future and trying not to let my past bring me down, because my past is just part of my story I will not let it define who I am! As time goes on I pray that I will be able to touch people with my story and be an encouragement to people around me! As time goes on I am excited (and a little scared, not gonna lie) to see what God has planned for the rest of our lives here on earth. Happy Monday! May this week be filled with many blessings in your life!