Monday, June 25, 2012

Living in a Broken World...

Lately with things going on in my life and with my family it has been more and more evident to me that we live in a broken down and messed up world. It makes me sad to see how corrupt our world has become. Living in such a messed up world as a christian makes it that much more difficult to live a righteous and truthful life. 


However for me I choose to live my life to the fullest and lean on my God in times of trouble... otherwise I would be totally and completely lost. Some days this is more difficult then others, but I choose to continue to look to my God for answers. Yesterday in church the pastor said something that really stuck with me, that life gets in the way of life! How true is that? Things that come into our life that we did not ask for or want get in the way of us living our lives and the lives that we had hoped to live. What matters most is how we react to these situations, being angry at God for what has happen I see as an easy way out, to blame God. 


I truly believe that God uses everything that happens in our lives whether it be good or bad to further his kingdom and to ultimately make our lives better. When you are in the middle of a mess whether it be with your marriage, losing someone you love, experiencing emotional pain, God makes good out of everything! 


And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. Romans 8:28 or to JC and I our "Maggie Grace verse"! 


I think it took losing our Maggie Grace for JC and I to fully understand this verse, for when you stand in the middle of feeling so emotionally raw you need to know and take comfort in knowing that God will use the situation to better your life! I know that JC and I will be blessed with more children, we may not know when but we know it will happen in God's timing! And when that day comes and we hold our new baby in our arms, we will rejoice that much more and feel God's love that much more! 


Another thing that struck me yesterday at church was how much God cares and who God is and all he has created.


Look up into the heavens. Who created all the stars? He brings them out like an army, one after another, calling each by its name. Because of his great power and incomparable strength, not a single one is missing. Isaiah 40:26


The Lord merely spoke, and the heavens were created. He breathed the word, and all the stars were born. He assigned the sea its boundaries and locked the oceans in vast reservoirs. Psalm 33:6-7


Ok just looking at those two verses I don't know how you would having any doubt in your mind that God doesn't love you. If he took the time to name all the stars in the sky, why wouldn't he love you, forgive you, see you through the dark times, and use your trials and tribulations to better your life? 


I guess what I am trying to say is that even though we live in a messed up world with so much sin we can still find hope and Grace with our God. He created us all and knows our thoughts before we know them and loves us the same! So great to know that we have such a loving God who has our back! 


I hope you all had a great weekend! Mine was busy with a beautiful wedding of one of my best friends... pictures to come!! I will be staying at my dad's house another week to be here for my family and help with some of my favorite little people! Excited to spend more time with them! But I sure am missing my man and my sweet puppies, can't wait to go home and get kisses from my hubby!! 


XOXOXO Bee

Saturday, June 16, 2012

My Week in Pictures...

Puppies cooling off in the heat! 

My favorite little girl puppy takin in the view!

The wall in our bedroom dedicated to our sweet Maggie Grace!

Just me.

Love it when his love for Christ comes out in music! (do you like the mullet shirt?)

Rainy Day.

Smiles!

Play time with daddy! 

Snuggling with my little boy!

JC taking a nap...


Enjoying quite time on the beach.

Mr.Zeke and I! 

Don't know if he will ever grow into those ears!

A man and his best friend!

Summer is here! 

Too cute not to share!





This week has flown by and has been filled with; stressful days, me hosting my first pampered chef party, an early morning walk with my best friend in the falls, lots of exercising, doing laundry, a coffee date with my best friend and a much needed chat session, morning devotional time, running two birthday parties at work, walking the dogs, and time with my hubby. This week has been filled with a lot of ups and downs I feel, but I'm excited to go home this week and spend time with my family and see one of my best friends get married!! Don't worry I will be taking tons of pictures... as usual! I hope to find this next week to be a refreshing one filled with less stress. I hope you enjoy the rest of your weekend! 

XOXO Bee

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Thoughts For Today....

Every morning as I read my devotional I find God speaking to me in great ways, somethings I have thought about before and others I haven't. Today's devo really spoke to me it just reminded me of how I have felt and still feel about the hurt that I have gone through in my life. Wanting God to use that hurt to further his kingdom and bring his word to people who don't know it.

In my devotion she talks about how her husband heard a speaker in college who had concluded that God cannot use someone significantly until that person has been hurt deeply. I thought that many of us dare not think to be true, but in many ways this is probably very true. I know for me if I had known the deep hurt I would face in this lifetime I would not think I would want to face it or that I could face it. However I know in my deep faith that God has already been at work through this pain and I know that he will continue to use it. I can honestly say that I pray that I will not go through as much pain as I already have been through, but I know that I need to trust God and allow him to work in my life.

She goes on to say "Perhaps you know what it feels like for a sword to pierce your very soul, to experience deep pain that seems to cut ruthlessly and defy the senses. If so, your in good company. And perhaps this soul pain is something that will make you uniquely useable to God to accomplish his purpose in the world and in your life. Do you want to be used?" Reading this it describes how I feel about the hurt I have experienced in this life, and how badly I want to be used to further the kingdom! I pray that if you have had soul pain that you know that God will use that for good and that you are not alone.

The prayer for today is; Lord, I've been pierced to my very soul, and I really didn't know I could hurt this deeply. And so at this point, if I have to go through this, please don't let this pain be wasted in my life. Use it. Use me. AMEN! I have prayed a prayer like this several times since we lost our Maggie Grace and I continue to pray that my story can touch people and give them hope in their own lives.

So these are my thoughts for today! We had lots of fun last night at the beach with the teens and today JC and I are going to spend some quality time with each other... I think it might be a movie night! I hope you are having a wonderful week!

XOXO Bee

A pic from the beach last night! 

Sunday, June 10, 2012

Less of Me.

Lately I have been trying to make my life less about me and more about God and what he has planned for my life! My prayers lately have been focused on God filling me with his spirit and helping me have more of a Christ like attitude, something that is very challenging on a daily basis. I am up for the challenge and I want my life to reflect that I am a Christ follower and that I love people no matter what... just like Christ did! 


Making my life more Christ centered I am working from the inside out, I want my heart to be filled with the spirit and for it to shine on the outside. For me to do this I feel like I need to get out of my own way and let God work in my life. To do this I need to let my past be my past and let it go, knowing that the events in my life the last two years have been difficult but I have grown and learned from them. I need to allow God to heal me and to make me whole again. I need to fully lean on God and trust in his plan for my life and lift all my concerns and worries up to him. 


All of these things are difficult, but they would be more difficult without God leading me. These will be things that I need to work on on a daily basis and I know it will not be an overnight transformation. I believe and know that it will be the work and time, I want my heart to be transformed! 


That being said I feel like God has truly opened my eyes to the fact that my life and the people in my life aren't perfect. We are all human and make mistakes, but the true test is what we do about these mistakes and how we respond to them. As christians it is easy to quote scripture and ask people "if you knew it was wrong, why did you do it?" but really we should be coming along side those people and loving them through thick and thin. After all isn't that what Christ did? We are called to love one another and to love others as ourselves. Being a Christ follower means that we should react to these situations more as Christ would rather then how we as sinners  would react. This is part of what I am working on within myself being more Christ like and being less about myself. I love this song by Chris Tomlin, "Enough" it truly describes I have been feeling lately! 


All of You is more than enough for all of me
For every thirst and every need
You satisfy me with Your love
And all I have in You is more than enough

You are my supply
My breath of life

And still more awesome than I know
You are my reward
worth living for
And still more awesome than I know



All of You is more than enough for all of me
For every thirst and every need
You satisfy me with Your love
And all I have in You is more than enough

You’re my sacrifice
Of greatest price
And still more awesome than I know
You’re the coming King
You are everything
And still more awesome than I know



More than all I want
More than all I need
You are more than enough for me
More than all I know
More than all I can say
You are more than enough for me




This week I am looking forward to starting a bible study and being one of the leaders for some of the graduating teen girls! I am excited to be a bigger part in these girls lives and to see how God is working in their lives! I am excited for sunny days and hopefully some time with my friends. I love girl time and having great conversations over coffee, I have had some wonderful times over a cup of coffee! I'm also excited to go to teens at the beach on wednesday, it will be great to see the kids and hang out at the beach! Hope you all have a great week! 


XOXO Bee

Thursday, June 7, 2012

Our Weekend Getaway! Sweet Sweet Duluth!

This weekend we headed out of town for a much needed husband and wife trip to Duluth. It was a time filled with laughter, enjoying each other's company, living in the moment, limited phone use, just being, good conversations and just being in God's creation! 

We saw a lot in our short two days there, when we first got there we meet up with our good friend Chris Bob and some of his family! We enjoyed seeing him and having dinner with him, Chris Bob has been part of our life since the beginning! We went to CBC with him and he was JC's roommate for majority of the time at NPU, he has been there with us through all the ups and downs! 


On Monday we did majority of our sightseeing, it was rainy on and off but we didn't let that stop us! We drove to Two Harbors for some pie at Betty's Pies, we went there for the first time about four years ago with some friends and we have wanted to go back since! JC was really looking forward to this pie, it was a great way to start our trip with lunch and some yummy pies in our tummies we headed off to our next stop... Goose Berry Falls!


On our way! 







When we arrived at Goose Berry Falls it had just finished raining, so we started walking the path to the falls. We could hear the waterfalls from afar... last time we were here it was winter so the falls were frozen! We took in all the beauty of God's creation and enjoyed walking hand in hand and just being with each other! 





Next stop was Split Rock Lighthouse, again the last time we were there it was winter and all frozen over. It was absolutely beautiful! We took a nice hike to the beach so we could get a good view of it and listen to the water crashing to the shore. This stop was such a great reminder of how great our God is and how beautiful his workmanship is! 




Then we headed back to Duluth for dinner at a restaurant called Grizzley's, the food was great! We made our waitress laugh a couple of times just being goofy us, then we headed to Adventure Zone for some mini golf. JC beat me but only by one stroke, it was a close game then JC got a few hits in the batting cages! It was fun to spend time there and feel like a kid again, which is a feeling I have been missing a lot lately! Just being a kid and having no big worries and just being able to have fun, this is something I hope JC and I can continue to have in our marriage! 


To end the night we stopped at ColdStone for some dessert, I had an Ice Cream Cupcake! You know me and my love for cupcakes, so I had to try it and it was delicious! It had a dark chocolate "wrapper" that you could eat and the bottom part was red velvet cake and the middle was cake batter ice cream and to top it off it had frosting! SO good! JC was boring and got a shake, which I didn't want to take a picture of... but he took one anyway! 


The next morning we woke up to beautiful weather and bright blue skies, we did not want to go home! But we soaked up as much sun and activities as we could before we took off for home. We did a little shopping for souvenirs, a couple t-shirts and one of my favorite little signs that is now in our kitchen it's super fitting for us!! Then we went to lunch where I was adventurous and tried fish tacos for the first time! If you know me, I will go fishing and I love to fish but I don't eat fish. Just don't like the taste of it, but I went outside the box and tried something new, and I actually really enjoyed them! 

The awesome view from our room! 

I love my state and that we are known for being nice, so I had to get this shirt! 

JC sure is!






Fish Taco! So proud of myself! 



Next we wanted to do some more sight seeing, so we went and rented this double bike thing and rode it around and went to see the light house at the end of the dock. We also went down to the draw bridge where we were lucky enough to see it in action! The view of Lake Superior in Canal Park was gorgeous, after we finished riding around we walked around some more and went into an antic shop and had fun looking around. I love being goofy with my hubby!




After that it was time to hit the road, we made a stop at target on the way home, we stopped on the side of the road.. (where I may or may not have had to stop to pee)... JC snapped a great picture of me walking back to the car. We saw some gorgeous clouds that had angel rays coming down and I couldn't help but think of it as our Maggie Grace and my mom shinning down on us. My mom always said that those rays reminded her of angels shinning on, so I think that is why I think of her and our precious baby girl when ever I see them! 


This trip left me feeling thankful for time away with my hubby, being so in love with my hubby and appreciating him, a time to breath and step away! It also left me with a new sense of adventure, I want to experience as much as I can in this life time! So this brought me to agree to go camping with JC and we will also be buying me my very first fishing pole (besides the kiddy one I grew up with, and this is something I have been wanting to get anyway!) So I am excited to be more adventurous with my hubby, enjoy living in the moment, and soaking up life! I was thankful to have these precious little faces to come home to! 

XOXO Bee










Saturday, June 2, 2012

Hello June!

Well another month has come and gone, time sure does fly by! This month I am looking forward to a few things, but most of all spending quality time with my hubby!

1. Going to Duluth for a few days with my love!
2. Enjoying the sunshine and soaking up as much of it as I can!
3. Going home for a week to visit my family!
4. Seeing one of my best friends get married!
5. Spending time with Dani and Tammy, two of my favorite people! :)
6. Celebrating Clay turning 6 years old!
7. Going to summer teen events!
8. Spending time with my daddy and Mary!
9. Enjoying time with my God every morning!
10. Not stressing about the little things and learning to live in the moment!

You may notice that trying for a baby is not on this list, JC and I decided to take a break from trying for a few months. I know that I am truly trying to trust God with this matter and know that his reasoning and timing is always perfect! I am hoping that I feel better by the morning, I've been fighting a cold for a couple of days now! JC and I are taking off tomorrow for Duluth and coming back Tuesday, this is a much needed husband and wife trip that we have both been looking forward to! I hope you all enjoy the weekend and soak up some sun!

XOXO Bee