As I think about this Christmas, my heart sinks in my chest as I think about our Maggie Grace who would have been 11 months this Christmas. I think about how much fun it would have been to have her here with us now, and just how much I miss our sweet girl! As I was online looking at shadow boxes (I want to put her things in one along with her urn, and pics for her) my heart sinks again and my eyes fill with tears as I think about putting all that is Maggie Grace into a box. What a strange concept to put this baby, who I worked so hard to grow in my belly for nine months into a box, I just don't know how I feel about that. Even though I am growing another baby in my belly now I can't help but miss her. She will always be my first born and she will always hold a special place in my heart, but as the time goes on and we have more children I don't want her to not be present. This is just something I am trying to figure out and understand how to deal with these, because this is something that I never thought I would have to deal with. As the days go on I'm trying to think of a way to celebrate her first Birthday, but to be honest I just don't know what would be fitting. My Maggie Grace in on my heart tonight.
My other little girl Zoey, is apparently afraid of me touching her since last night, I pet her back and she freaked out made an awful noise and ran away from me and she did the same thing tonight. I was hoping that she would be better today, but it doesn't seem like it, she didn't even take a nap with me today which is something she always does with me. Which is just making me really sad stupid hormones making me so sensitive, but I really don't like that my little girl seems to be scared of me.
So, today I have just been overwhelmed by emotions and I just want to feel better! Sorry for the complaints, but sometimes I just need to get things off my chest! I hope you are all having a great week so far, here in I.Falls we just seem to be collecting more snow! Here are just a couple pics from my week so far.
XOXO Bee
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| JC leading worship with the teens on Sunday! |
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| Watched Home Alone on Sunday night, such a holiday classic! |
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| Our homemade Cinnamon Rolls! Delish! |
I think you should make a cake, buy flowers, invite close friends, and celebrate the day that you first saw your little girl, and the day that she started her life in heaven. about Zoey, does anything else in her behavior suggest that her back hurts/is injured? I know that I have a hard time when my dog growls like she is annoyed that I'm touching her. I hope Zoey's better today.
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