Do you ever feel like your a spool of thread that is spinning so fast that you feel like you are coming unraveled, your spinning in a million directions and don't know which way is up? Welp that is how I have been feeling lately, trying to trust God with what the future holds with JC's job, where we are going to live, waiting patiently for a baby and just fully relying on him! Since we got back from this weekend I feel like we have about a million things on our plates!
I got called to work eight hours yesterday then from there I headed straight over to learn how to make bread with my Apples of Gold friends, it was fun and I enjoyed it but I had to leave early because I was exhausted and JC had been home most of the day by himself with the crazy puppies... and I just missed him! When I got home we just talked about a million miles a minute talking about our day and what this week holds. We will be moving to a new house by Sunday, Monday at the latest because the house we are renting right now has been bought and the owners are moving in soon. The house we are moving into is on the market and the owner wants to sell it, so we will be moving again probably at the end of the summer! You may wonder why we don't just buy a house and stop renting houses, well that would be great if JC's job was guaranteed to him. He was hired on as an interim (temporary) youth pastor, so we knew going into this that he was guaranteed a job for 12 months with a promise he could interview to stay on permanently. Our 12 months would have been up in September but he was just recently asked to stay on until December! They are in the process of hiring a permeant senior pastor and after they hire them they are given about six months to decide how JC is doing in his job and they begin the interview process for JC's job and with the Covenant they have to interview at least two other people besides JC. So needless to say we are not promised that we will be here a year from now, before we got engaged JC made me promise him that I was ok with marrying someone who was going into ministry knowing we will probably have to move quite a bit. So I have always known this is how it would be, but it's still hard to trust God with our future.
Also wanting to get pregnant soon, I really don't want to deliver this next baby anywhere else because my doctor and nurses here know what we have been through and have been so sensitive and kind in this time. So knowing that we might have to move before I deliver this next baby makes me sad, anxious and nervous! I have such a strong bond with my doctor and really want her to walk with us during this next pregnancy and see us become parents and have a baby to bring home!
So with the stress of a busy week and having to move on top of it, I woke up this morning feeling exhausted and sick. Just what I need right now to be sick... not! I'm wondering if this is God's way of telling me to slow down, take a deep breath and to trust him! I don't know if you have ever heard of the poem Footprints in the sand... it's one of my favorites and one that I cling to in times of uncertainty. If you have not read this poem before I hope it speaks into your life and you are able to use it as a source of hope in your life!
So as this week continues I am trying to stay calm and carry on trusting and leaning on my God who walks next to me and carries me when I can not walk myself. I continue to pray that God will give me patients to trust him and his timing, that I trust what he has planned for our future and that he continues to use JC and I to bring the good news of his kingdom!
"For I know the plans I have for you." declares the Lord, "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all of your heart." Jeremiah 29: 11-13