Let me first say that her birth did not go at all like I had expected, it actually went the way I had feared. I'm sure by now you have heard of a little virus know as COVID-19, well I tested positive for it in the middle of November 2021 while I was about 8 months pregnant. After being bed ridden for about two weeks of having the virus, struggling with breathing and barely being able to walk from our bedroom to the kitchen in the morning to take my vitamins and medicine (our house isn't big... it only takes about 20 steps to get to the kitchen). I remember many days that just standing to take my medicine was exhausting. In my mind I didn't think I was that bad, JC had asked me severally times are you sure your ok? At the end of all my pregnancies it is difficult to breath in general as I have a very short torso and things are very squished in my abdomen.
I headed into what would be my last appointment with my OB on Monday November 29th I was feeling pretty good thinking that I was doing better than the week before (at this point I was going in once a week of non-stress tested & ultrasounds). It was an afternoon appointment and JC was able to bring me in which was a huge blessing because walking from the parking ramp to the OB department was exhausting.So he pushed me in a wheelchair to where I needed to go. I had set up months ahead to have my brother be at our house when the kids got home from school that day because I knew we wouldn't make it back home before the school bus dropped them off.
Well this appointment went drastically different then I expected, after doing my ultrasound they took my vitals and discovered that my O2 levels were down to I think if memory serves me right about 92%/93% which is low and not what they want to see when you are providing oxygen not just for you but the baby you are carrying. So they had me get wheeled in a wheelchair by JC to the labor and delivery part of the hospital where they started me on oxygen. Little did I know that I should get used to those annoying oxygen tubes up my nose... spoiler alert, I would be on oxygen for about the next 10 days. After I was settled in my room, JC decided to head home to relieve my brother of kid duty at our house even though I didn't want him to leave me.
That night went by fast and the next thing I remember is waking up to my nurse coming in telling me that we need to up my oxygen and get me on high flow. I still don't know the specifics about oxygen given other than when you need high flow its not a good thing. I was told the night before after JC left that he wasn't allowed to come back because of me having covid (super annoyed I didn't know that before he left) as the morning went on my OB came in and told me that she thought it would be best if I was transferred to a hospital down in the cities for care.
This was heartbreaking for more than one reason but mostly I loved my OB and wanted her to delivery my baby. My nurse informed me that I would need to be air lifted to the cities in a helicopter, I actually remember asking him if they could just drive me there... a funny afterthought now! His response was no, you need to be air lifted, I'm not a huge fan of flying in general so I was not too excited about this news. I took it in stride as I tend to do when I'm in hard situations because what else am I going to do? Before too long I was getting suited up with a bubble helmet so that I could still continue to get oxygen while in flight. I so wish I would have taken a picture of me with this ridiculous thing on to show the kids later. They transferred me to a stretcher and then I was on the move to the roof of the hospital. Thankfully a friend of mine that is a nurse at essentia stopped by my house and was able to pick up a bag that had some clothes, shower items, my kindle and my most important item my fuzzy blanket that the kids & JC had given me for my birthday. JC thoughtfully packed these items up for me and my bag got loaded into the helicopter with me. Man, was that helicopter a snug fit... it was however a very smooth flight and I believe it only took about 1.5 hours to get us to the cities.
Once we landed I was brought to an ICU room, I remember the room being filled with a lot of medical personal. They got me set up with I different high flow oxygen tube and were asking me about when I was first diagnosed with covid. I spoke with what felt like a hundred different doctors including the special disease doctor. I had amazing nurses who cared for me at this time that help me write up questions I had because there was so much different information being given to me. I remember there was not a bath room in that room and I had to use a bed side toilet, eww. By this time I was feeling a bit better after being on oxygen and receiving medicine, my appetite was returning. However I still had a high need for oxygen and that was concerning the doctor and talk of delivering baby began the following morning, December 1st.
The OB doctor came in to speak with me and discussing delivering baby and explaining that once baby was out they hoped that my breathing would improve significantly. Since I just ate breakfast I knew they had to wait at least a few hours until taking me to the OR, the doctor assured me that 34 week old babies tend to do well once delivered telling me that his son was born at that gestation and did well. This whole time I wasn't worried about my little lady, I felt peace that she would be fine. My mind more so took me to dying myself considering how sick I was on top of having to undergo having a baby surgically removed from my body. But more on that later.
JC, who was still up in Two Harbors with the kids had taken that day off of work. I called him and the kids as there were just getting home from grabbing the kids school work for the next few days. As we were on the phone it started with I think they might deliver the baby to oh yup we are having a baby... tonight! So when they got home it was time to pack up for a few days (at this point it was hard to know how long the kids would be down in the cities at my brother Brad's house)JC just told the kids they needed to be "flexible". While they began their 3 hour drive down to the cities, I was facing the question of if JC would be able to be with me in general, like not even in the OR because I was going to be put under.
My mind spun out of control for a bit thinking about all that could happen and that I could handle being put under but to not have my person with me at all during this process I felt cheated. I was angry that covid was causing me to experience loneliness like I had only heard about. On top of them telling me I would be put under for the birth they also told me I would most likely be on the ventilator for a few days to let my body (lungs) recover. Well as you can imagine that information did not put my mind at ease one bit, thinking I wouldn't know what day I would be waking up really freaked me out.It seemed as if every person I asked about if JC would be able to come be with me had a different answer, finally I got the final word from my nurse that he was allowed to come be with me as long as he wore protective gear while visiting me. As I waited for JC and the kids to get to me I was anxious as you could believe and needed someone to pray with/for me so I called my sweet mother in law and had a brief conversation with her and she prayed for me which helped make me feel less anxious... but I wasn't at complete ease until I saw JC's face walk through the doors of my ICU room.
He had to wear a helmet type thing that I can only explain as looking like a space helmet and had to wear scrubs on top of his clothes. I could tell he was happy to be with me but I could also sense his anxiety and he played with his wedding ring as we talked and tried to just focus on the happy thought of baby coming that night. So much of this reminded me and I'm sure him of how things went with our Maggie Grace's delivery which didn't not have a happy outcome. The 3 hours I got with him before going into the OR seemed to fly by but was such a gift and before I knew it they were pushing my bed to the elevator. and once we were in the elevator. Next it was time to say goodbye and being brought into that bright OR room. They took my glasses so they wouldn't get lost, but let me tell you how much that affects me because I have terrible eye sight it's like losing one of my 5 senses right there. But before they were taken I could tell all the people in the OR were female, which I just thought was cool and made a comment about it. Then onto the operating table which was tilted to the left so I wasn't laying flat on my back for baby's sake and to help with my breathing.
To my surprise it was just the next morning, my lungs had improved so much after
baby came out that they saw no need to keep me under. The next thing I remember is being handed my phone and it was full of text messages, pictures and videos of little miss.Gemma from JC! Oh how my heart burst when I saw her sweet little face and her little head full of dark hair, all I wanted to do was get to her. However because I was still positive for covid it would be a long 5 days before I could hold my baby girl. This was definitely extremely difficult but I was beyond thankful that JC was with her the whole time and able to send me updates!
Finally on December 6th 2021 I was able to hold my Gemma Hope for the first time. Oh my heart seriously felt like it could burst! Not only being able to hold her but to be able to physically be with JC felt so nice. I was in isolation the days leading up to this day, so I could only see JC through my hospital room door window and talk to him on the phone. This was only allowed because he would come and get the milk I was pumping for Gemma.
I was determined to breastfeed this little lady because I wasn't able to do it with Kylie because I had to switch depression medicine and with Micah he was born with a tongue tie so I exclusively pumped for him. Having a preemie has its own set of challenges when it comes to feeding/eating. In fact getting her to eat on her own was the only reason she was in the special care nursery. So it was a lot of pumping for me in the first two months.
JC and I spent the rest of the week together in Gemma's room (after I was discharged from Abbot as a patient on Dec.9th I believe) Then he headed back home to the kiddos and to return to work as he used up all this action days to be with Gemma and I. I was very thankful they had a parent sleep room (like a small hotel room) for me to sleep in every night, I was able to get meals/food from the Ronald McDonald house which was a huge blessing as I was still recovery from Covid and a c-section and didn't have a vehicle to leave even if I wanted to hahaha. I spent most of my days holding my baby, working on breastfeeding and pumping about every 3 hours. My dad, step mom, brother Brad & SIL Whitney came to visit while Gemma was still in the hospital... I was so happy to have family come visit it made the days go by faster and feel less lonely.
Finally on December 18th our Gemma girl was released from the hospital and we were able to head home! I was so relieved to be going home after being away from Kylie & Micah for 20 days... I was so excited to see them and introduce them to their new baby sister! They had only seen her on FaceTime, I was so excited to see them hold her!
Through this whole process I could feel God's hand and peace in all the different situations that we had to face.Everyday I feel so thankful and blessed that God gave us another beautiful healthy baby girl!
Well, I think thats about all I can recall from her birth. I hope you enjoy the pictures of our girl when she was a new born!
XOXO Bee
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