Thursday, September 27, 2012

Relying on my God...

Lately I have really been trying to get back to reading my devotional every day, and so far so good.... and can I just say that it's crazy how God speaks right to you on the days that you need it most! Since I started reading this devotional it has been so neat to see how the things I read in it relate to what is going on in my life at the time. I have been truly blessed by having this devotional to read & by the words of wisdom it is full of! 

The Lord is a shelter for the oppressed, a refuge in times of trouble. Those who know your name trust in you, for you, O Lord, have never abandoned anyone who searches for you. Psalm 9:9-10

This is the passage for this week to meditate on, and as I read over it a few times I realized that these words are so true in my life. Even when I have been in pain and surrounded by sadness, I know that God never left my side during these times I am sure he carried me! These days I know that relying on my God is what I have to get through the tough days when my eyes are full of tears and my heart is sad. I just had one of these days the other day and I am so thankful to have a God that is so loving and a God that comforts!

This week seems to have flown by, I can't believe tomorrow is already Friday! I was hoping to spend time with my honey today, but he has been so busy with meetings and he is at worship practice right now for Sunday. Tomorrow will be our night in with each other which I am excited for, we have had a lot going on lately that it will be good to stay in watch a movie and cuddle! Those are the moments that I truly treasure most with him, when he gets home tonight we will be watching the season premiere of Gray's Anatomy... I'm SO pumped!! This weekend I will be cleaning, straightening upstairs, crafting, and baking some banana bread! We have a guest coming to visit us from New England for a few days, so I am loving decorating one of our guest rooms upstairs so that it feels welcome and warm for her! I just joined Pinterest this week (something I said I would never do) and I am loving it, such a great place to get recipes, craft ideas, and ideas for our future babies! 

I am looking forward to October and all it has in store for us, we were talking about October today and seems as though all our weekends are taken up by visitors, a trip to dad's house,and a retreat with the teens. So I am sure that it will fly by, and did I mention my Birthday is next Wednesday?! Ha sorry I just love Birthdays and feeling special on that day, I also love making other people feel special on their Birthdays!!Tomorrow I am going over to my friend Laura's house to order jewelry and spend some time with her, I love going to her house and spending time with her and her adorable daughters! I hope you have had a great week, mine was full of ups and downs! Blessings on your weekend!! 


Sporting my new Lia Sophia necklace on Sunday! I love it!! 

My sweet pups!

Crying tears over missing my mama SO much!

On our hike on Monday

I spy with my little eye... some red leaves! I love this season!! 

Saturday, September 22, 2012

Changing of Seasons

Tonight while JC is at church for worship practice, I decide it was time to switch out my summer wardrobe for my fall/ winter wardrobe. Problem is I don't have many clothes that fit for the up coming winter, only one pair of jeans that fit me right now. So as I tried to sort through stuff I thought might fit me it just put me in a sour mood and got my mind spinning in many different directions. 

As I folded my summer clothes and put them in a tote, and replaced them with long sleeve shirts and sweatshirts, I was thinking about how much I wished I was pregnant right now. As I made room for my pants and pajamas in one of my drawers I decided it was time to take my maternity jeans out. Doing this really made me sad, I felt like I was really saying that I won't get pregnant anytime soon. This past spring I even bought a maternity winter jacket on super clearance (this is how confidant I was at the time that I would be pregnant by the winter time) so I would have it if I needed it.

Now I am stuck in this body and with out a baby growing inside of me, boy do I miss that beautiful round belly! I started thinking about how I was SO close to making my dream come true of becoming a mommy and then to get it all ripped away is such a tease and a horrible feeling. I really feel like my hopes of getting pregnant is pretty much gone, I feel like I may never get pregnant again. Which you could imagine is not a great feeling to have. I am still relying on God and trusting in his plan, as hard as it is to be patient & really not understand his reasoning.

The weather here has gotten pretty chilly and fast, we had our first freeze earlier this week.... YIKES!! The first in the country, oh the joys of living in the "ice box of the nation"! So this prompted me even more tonight to switch out my clothes for warmer ones! As I was folding clothes and feeling down, I had my sweet puppy girl Zoey keeping me company. She really knows me and can sense when I am sad and having a hard time, I am so thankful for her! I know that sounds silly but she is truly a HUGE blessing in my life! 

I hope you all have a great rest of your weekend!


Rain on the window

Yummy Pumpkin Spice bread

Yummy Snickerdoodle Cupcakes!

My sweet Zoey girl!

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Always a Part of My story...

"Did you have your baby?" was the question that I was faced with yesterday during release time when one of my students from last year, who hasn't seen me since I was pregnant last fall asked me. I simply just explained that my baby died shortly after being born, I think for a fifth grader who has probably never hear of something like that happening it was hard to hear. So the subject quickly changed... which I was relieved about. 

After I was faced with this question I just really thought about how Maggie Grace will always be in my heart but even more so a part of my story. I will carry her story with me the rest of my life, which at times I wish that it wouldn't follow me where ever I go. As Halloween approaches I was at the store today and saw the cutest bumble bee costume that I am pretty sure I would have dressed Maggie Grace up in! Every holiday that comes and goes, I long to have my baby girl here with us or at least a promise of a new baby on it's way... but so far nothing of a promise has come. I must admit that it is getting harder and harder on me as time goes on and more babies are being born, pretty sure everyday that I am on facebook I see at least one baby that is being expected.

I have to admit that I feel a little bummed that Snooki is a mother and I am not, (I have never watched that show... but really, her as a mom?) Somedays it is just really hard to understand God's reasoning and plans. I know that getting pregnant will have to be put off for the next two months, Cassie my sister-in law is getting married in June and I don't mind being pregnant as a bridesmaid but I don't want to be ready to pop pregnant. (plus with the complications with Maggie, I don't think it would be smart for me to be super pregnant and traveling all the way out to NH) 

So the wait goes on, it seems as though this season in my life is all about waiting (God really is working on my patients!!) waiting to get pregnant, waiting to find out if we will be staying in I.Falls... ok that's only two things, but they are two really BIG things!!

On another note last night was the teen kickoff, it was a blast and the kids all seemed to have lots of fun as well! We had a total attendance of 97, which is about 30 more than last year's kickoff!!! AWESOME!! I have a feeling that God will do mighty things this year in the youth group!! Here are some pics from last night!! 


The bat cave and all our hard work!

JC AKA Batman! 

JC & I (AKA Batman & Batgirl!)

Kryptanite candy & Spidy Cakes ( I baked half the cupcakes
& did the spider web frosting on top)

Spider girl and I.... my humble sidekick! 

Clara Kent & I 

JC, i mean Batman giving his talk!

Thought this was an awesome picture, my angel baby
shinning down on me from Heaven!

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Steady My Heart...

"Steady My Heart"

Wish it could be easy
Why is life so messy
Why is pain a part of us
There are days I feel like
Nothing ever goes right
Sometimes it just hurts so much

But You're here
You're real
I know I can trust You

Even when it hurts
Even when it's hard
Even when it all just falls apart
I will run to You
Cause I know that You are
Lover of my soul
Healer of my scars
You steady my heart [x2]

I'm not gonna worry
I know that You got me
Right inside the palm of your hand
Each and every moment
What's good and what gets broken
Happens just the way that You plan

And I will run to You
You're my refuge in Your arms
And I will sing to You
Cause of everything You are

You steady my heart [x2]

This song is by a very talented singer Kari Jobe, she is a wonderful christian artist! I heard this song for the first time yesterday and it truly describes how I feel, going through hard times yet knowing that God has me in the palm of his hand, and knowing that everything that happens is part of his plan for my life! May you be uplifted by this song has much as I was! 

We are almost completely finished with decorating for the teens kick off tomorrow, I also got my Batgirl costume in the mail today! I am heading over to my friend Terri's house to frost all 100 cupcakes that we baked!! I love being able to bake for the kids and being able to use my creative side to help JC decorate! I truly love being a youth pastor's wife and all that it includes, I also have really grown to love the teens in the youth group!! Praying that God will make his presence known to them this year and trusting him with where JC and I will be called to! 

Hope you're having a great week so far, here are a few pics I've taken lately! 


Loving the fall time! 

The teen room under construction!

My new additions to the kitchen from Chicago! My bestie got the cupcake
sign for me and the other two are post cards I framed! 

Sweet Zeke waiting to be let outside! 

My cute hubby! 
Beautiful sunset last night! 

Boiling sugar, water, & green food coloring to create a
fun treat for the kick off! 

Zeke tucked himself into bed last night! 

Saturday, September 15, 2012

An Aching Heart.

My heart is sad, I have been feeling down a lot lately and I truly don't know what is getting me down! Which makes me even more frustrated about the whole situation. Usually this time of year I am super happy and excited for the fall and so looking forward to my birthday, but not lately for some reason. 

I am trying to stay positive and look on the bright side of things such as; I have a home/ roof over my head, food in my tummy, a loving & caring husband, two cute puppies, a family that loves me & friends that care about me. I also have a God who loves me through thick and thin. 

I think that I need to get back into my routine of spending time with God every morning, that always seems to help a lot. Life has been crazy busy since we got back from vacation. We are busy getting ready and decorating the teens room for the kick off that is on wednesday. So JC and I have been putting our creative minds together to make the room look awesome, but it's a lot of work! 

So right now I am feeling down, but trying to focus on the positive things in my life. But if you think of it if you could send up a prayer for me, I would very much appreciate it & I'm always up for lots of hugs too!! Hope you have a great weekend! 


Monday, September 10, 2012

Home Again!

Well this last few weeks have been amazing I got to spend time with two of my best friends, see the city of Chicago which I miss so much, and spend time at my family cabin in Michigan with my love and our pups! Now that I am home again for more then a day, we are getting ready for the fall kick off for youth group! Excited for fall to be here, but also realizing just how busy our year is going to be ( God willing we will be here for another full year + many more!) The day after we got home from Michigan I was busy running errands to get stuff for a craft I was doing for a spa sleep over night at the church for the youth group girls. It was a lot of fun, but I realized that day that I don't get to ease my way into fall! 

Now that fall is here I am loving the weather, and last night I baked Pumpkin spice bread with a butter cinnamon glaze ( YUMMY, we had it for breakfast this morning!) I just love everything about fall; the cool weather, the sound of leaves crunching under your feet, the fall smells of apple, cinnamon, pumpkin! 

I realize I didn't do a post for September, but here are somethings I'm looking forward to this month....

1. Going for walks in the cool fall weather
2. Going to visit Brian & Shannon in Two Harbors ( they moved there labor day weekend and its only about 3 hours away!)
3. Celebrating Ian's 8th Birthday! 
4. Youth Group kickoff 
5. My Lia Sophia party
6. Starting a small group
7. Teaching sunday school
8. Counting the days till my birthday! hehe (October 3rd)
9. Hopefully spending time with my honey even though his schedule is going to be crazy!
10. Getting our new to us kitchen table! 

Here are some pics from our trip to Michigan! We had such a great time together and talked about the future and what it may hold for us. We are still walking by Faith trusting God every step of the way! 


This is my family cabin in Michigan! My Dad helped his dad build it when he was only 14 years old!
This place holds many memories for me!

Loved soaking up the sun with my man! 

Zoey absolutely LOVED the water! 

Zeke was a little more hesitant!
(it was his first time in the water)

This is the view from the water, you can just see the A frame! 

So beautiful! 

Dad and Mary joined us for a few days and treated
us to some yummy home made ice cream! 

I love this man! 

Dad made us pose for this one, JC looks so excited! 

JC in his happy place! 

Gorgeous sunset! 

Full moon!

I thank God everyday for blessing me with this wonderful man!

7 Turkeys in the driveway! 

And I will walk by Faith, even when I can not see...

We had to buy Zeke a new collar & name tag
because he lost his in the water! 

I kicked butt in Yahtzee beating Dad, Mary & JC
I think my total score was 377 (I got 2 Yahtzees!)

JC getting some shooting practice in!

When went on a squirrel hunt.

Storm front rolling in!

Enjoyed many quite nights in front of the fire!

Three deer out front!

We made a stop at Deyoung Family Zoo, where you can
hold animals! There is just something about baby
pigs that I just love! 

JC made friend with Louis, who is a 2 year old chimp!
He kept stealing JC's hat! 

Such a sweet face! He was so smart! 


Our last day there, trying to savor every moment!

Saying good bye is such sweet sorrow! 

Car ride home, I had a cuddle buddy! In total that day we
spent about 12 hours in the car! Zeke did great on his
first long trip!! 

JC loving on miss Ryleigh! 

We stopped to visit the Thorpe's in Two Harbors at their new house!
My heart is so happy when I get to see this little girl! 

They were keeping my company while I baked yesterday!
Zeke is up to 50 pounds now! 

Wore my new Indonesian dress from my friend
Mindy to church yesterday and received many