It's a Beeautiful Life: Always a Part of My story...

"Did you have your baby?" was the question that I was faced with yesterday during release time when one of my students from last year, who hasn't seen me since I was pregnant last fall asked me. I simply just explained that my baby died shortly after being born, I think for a fifth grader who has probably never hear of something like that happening it was hard to hear. So the subject quickly changed... which I was relieved about.

After I was faced with this question I just really thought about how Maggie Grace will always be in my heart but even more so a part of my story. I will carry her story with me the rest of my life, which at times I wish that it wouldn't follow me where ever I go. As Halloween approaches I was at the store today and saw the cutest bumble bee costume that I am pretty sure I would have dressed Maggie Grace up in! Every holiday that comes and goes, I long to have my baby girl here with us or at least a promise of a new baby on it's way... but so far nothing of a promise has come. I must admit that it is getting harder and harder on me as time goes on and more babies are being born, pretty sure everyday that I am on facebook I see at least one baby that is being expected.

I have to admit that I feel a little bummed that Snooki is a mother and I am not, (I have never watched that show... but really, her as a mom?) Somedays it is just really hard to understand God's reasoning and plans. I know that getting pregnant will have to be put off for the next two months, Cassie my sister-in law is getting married in June and I don't mind being pregnant as a bridesmaid but I don't want to be ready to pop pregnant. (plus with the complications with Maggie, I don't think it would be smart for me to be super pregnant and traveling all the way out to NH)

So the wait goes on, it seems as though this season in my life is all about waiting (God really is working on my patients!!) waiting to get pregnant, waiting to find out if we will be staying in I.Falls... ok that's only two things, but they are two really BIG things!!

On another note last night was the teen kickoff, it was a blast and the kids all seemed to have lots of fun as well! We had a total attendance of 97, which is about 30 more than last year's kickoff!!! AWESOME!! I have a feeling that God will do mighty things this year in the youth group!! Here are some pics from last night!!

XOXO Bee