Saturday, September 28, 2013

Faith VS Doubt

Faith VS Doubt this is what I have been struggling with since becoming pregnant this time around. Most days I am able to stay calm and trust in God and have faith that everything is going to be ok. And then there are those days when the baby isn't moving quit as much and I begin to doubt and loss faith. On those days I really dislike the feeling that I have inside, it's like I'm in conflict with myself... because I know I should/ need to just trust God and that everything will be ok. It's been the biggest struggle, hurdle this pregnancy  I'm finding ways to keep myself calm and remind myself that God wants to bless me with good things. 
The idea of being blessed with good things seem a little foreign to me (and JC) not to say that we haven't been blessed with good things the last three years, but honestly we have had negative and really heartbreaking things happen to us. So it feels a bit strange to have things going well for a change, very thankful that they are but I feel like part of me is just waiting for something to go wrong. 
God has given me a couple really cool "visions" since I have been pregnant. When happened while I was in church and probably only about 10 or 13 weeks along and I just had this overwhelming sense of a baby laying on my chest with dark hair and it was our baby. Another one was I got up early in the morning (the day of our ultrasound to find out the gender) at 18 weeks and I laid back down in bed closed my eyes and a sleeping baby's face popped into my head. Both of these "visions" brought me great comfort that we will be bringing this baby home with us! 
So as I sit here 25 weeks pregnant, I'm learning to leave this baby in God's hands trusting that we will bring this baby home. Some days are easier than others, but hey that's what having faith in God calls us to do. It calls us to full heartily leave our concerns in his hands and trust that he has got it all covered! JC did a talk this past Thursday to the teens about having faith and trusting God, and it spoke right to my heart and how I have been feeling. The verse he did the talk on was...

Now Faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. Hebrews 11:1

Reading my devo yesterday I found another great scripture for faith.

And it is impossible to please God without faith. Anyone who wants to come to him must believe that God exists and that he rewards those who sincerely seek him. Hebrews 11:6

So I am choosing to trust and put my faith fully in God and that this baby is coming home with us! As the weeks go by the more excited I am getting about being a mommy and being able to care for her! 


I love my boys so much! 

Baby B is getting bigger & we have 100 days left
until D day! She will be delivered 5 days early! 

This is a prayer that I actually found on Pinterest, I try to say
it everyday when I put lotion on my belly.

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