When you're a mother who has lost their baby, no matter what age; newborn to fifty years old... the pain is the same. Oh how I long to hold my baby, to hear her giggle, cry, and talk. Being a mother without a baby is such an odd role to be in, but I know that I am a mother. All the things I have listed are things I hoped and dreamed to see and do with Maggie Grace. So now what do I do with those longings, those dreams... I wait until we are gifted with another baby. I pray that this day will come sooner rather than later, but I know that that is ultimately up to my Father in heaven. That longing and desire to be a mother is stronger now then ever before and I know that God would not put that desire in my heart if he did not have that planned for my life. I continue to pray for patience and I am preparing myself for having to wait to get pregnant... and I know I need to prepare myself for that so I am not heart broken each month.
I am trying to allow myself time to breath and think, but lately with our crazy busy schedule that seems to be easier said then done. So each night I have been trying to give myself time in bed to read and to reflect on the day, I feel like this has truly given me time and space to think about what God has blessed me with and to think and dream about the future!
Well today was a fun and long day with the teens, the weather was beautiful and I even got a little bit of a tan! Back to work I go tomorrow to finish up a huge order, I was thankful for a day off to give my hands a little bit of a break! I am praying for strength and energy to finish my week off, the days seem to be going by way too fast. I hope you had a great day!
|Last night my sweet husband made me some sleepy time tea.|
It was a great way to end my day with tea and a good book!