Tuesday, July 31, 2012

When You're a Mother.

When you're a mother you get to wake up each morning (or the middle of the night to a crying baby) you get to hold your baby close and sooth them back to sleep. When you're a mother you get to bath your baby and put lotion on them and diaper them. When you're a mother you get a baby to hold and to kiss and kiss those precious baby toes! When you're a mother you get to sing that precious little one to bed, and read them books before bedtime. When you're a mother you get to dress your sweet baby in cute clothes, you get to put on their tiny little shoes. When you're a mother you get to watch your baby roll over, crawl, and take their first steps! When you're a mother you watch your baby take some falls and are there to kiss their boo boo all better. When you're a mother you get to  see your baby's first smile, their first giggle, their first tooth. When you're a mother you get to hold your sweet little ones hands, you get to clean up after them, and change stinky diapers and put up with temper tantrums. When you're a mother days seem too short, and your baby seems to grow too fast for your liking. When you're a mother you get to raise your child and see them grow from tiny babies to adults. 

When you're a mother who has lost their baby, no matter what age; newborn to fifty years old... the pain is the same. Oh how I long to hold my baby, to hear her giggle, cry, and talk. Being a mother without a baby is such an odd role to be in, but I know that I am a mother. All the things I have listed are things I hoped and dreamed to see and do with Maggie Grace. So now what do I do with those longings, those dreams... I wait until we are gifted with another baby. I pray that this day will come sooner rather than later, but I know that that is ultimately up to my Father in heaven. That longing and desire to be a mother is stronger now then ever before and I know that God would not put that desire in my heart if he did not have that planned for my life. I continue to pray for patience and I am preparing myself for having to wait to get pregnant... and I know I need to prepare myself for that so I am not heart broken each month.

I am trying to allow myself time to breath and think, but lately with our crazy busy schedule that seems to be easier said then done. So each night I have been trying to give myself time in bed to read and to reflect on the day, I feel like this has truly given me time and space to think about what God has blessed me with and to think and dream about the future! 

Well today was a fun and long day with the teens, the weather was beautiful and I even got a little bit of a tan! Back to work I go tomorrow to finish up a huge order, I was thankful for a day off to give my hands a little bit of a break! I am praying for strength and energy to finish my week off, the days seem to be going by way too fast. I hope you had a great day!


Last night my sweet husband made me some sleepy time tea.
It was a great way to end my day with tea and a good book! 

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