Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Life can change in an instant...

Life can change in an instant.... my life have changed in an instant in a big way several times in my short 27 years of life. My life & world was flipped upside down February 2010, when I received a call that my mom had taken her own life. My life has not been the same since that day, I miss my Mom SO much everyday and I look forward to the day I get to see her and get a hug from her in Heaven. My life changed the day I found out I was expecting our precious Maggie Grace, I was absolutely thrilled & couldn't wait to met her! My life was turned upside down once again the day Maggie Grace was born & then shortly passed away, I miss my Maggie EVERYDAY & wonder what she would be learning to do and what she would look like. My Maggie Grace is frozen in time as a newborn in her picture that is on our wall in our bedroom, oh how I wish I could hold her, sing to her & watch her grow. In September my world was changed again when I found out we were expecting a second baby, oh how excited we were about this news... little did we know that a short 4 months later our world would be flipped upside down & we would have to say goodbye to that baby & begin the healing processes all over again. We would be finding out this week if the baby was a boy or a girl, as time goes on I know I will be thinking 'oh I would be this far along now' and on June 5th (my due date) I know that will be another hard day. The only thing that brings me comfort after enduring all these heartbreaking and life changing moments is that my Mom, and our two sweet babies are in a safe and loving place with our Lord and Savior! I mean what better place for them to be, I always know where they are and who they are with!!

Now that we are back home in the Falls I am still sick and haven't left the house since we got home Sunday night. I am so tired physically, emotionally & spiritually... I am really hoping that I get healthy soon because it's really getting old! While we spent time down at my Dad's house we celebrated, my Dad's Birthday, Ryleigh's Birthday & Will's Birthday as I was happy to be there to celebrate these Birthdays, I couldn't help but be a little sad at the same time. We would have been celebrating Maggie Grace turning one and instead we not only celebrated her Birthday with out her... we had to say goodbye to her brother/ sister on her Birthday. January 8th is the worst day of the year next to February 28th, the only thing I can think of is that God may have thought grieving our babies on the same day may have been easier than having two separate days. That really makes me not want to be pregnant during January with the next baby... but at the same time I don't want to wait another year to get pregnant. That's in God's hands and that's where it will stay!

These are my thoughts for today. Here are some pics from our time in the cities!


Some beautiful flowers that were sent to me, I feel
like flowers can always brighten your day! 

Zekey Boy playing with hi ball!

My beautiful Zoey girl, making me smile on a hard day!

Happy Birthday to the best Dad EVER!! 

Celebrating Ryleigh turning 3! TIme sure flies!! 

Love this girl SO much!! 

Clay, my buddy!! 

Such a pretty girl!! 

Discussing Ian's favorite Christmas present! They are cute together! 

To celebrate Maggie Grace we decorated... cupcakes of course!! 

The yummy & sweet cake Shannon made! 

We released balloons for both our precious babies! 

Happy 6th Birthday to Will! 

Brad & Will made a pirate ship piƱata for his Birthday! 

Cute Ori in the hat JC and I gave Will for his Birthday! 

Grandpa Airplane with Ryleigh Grace! 

The cousins telling Will about his gift! 


Ori trying to take JC's tongue ring out, haha! 

Mary with cute Ryleigh! 

A refreshing walk with my little family! 

First night back at home, I think she was happy to be home! 

Zeke this morning... so thankful he let me sleep until 11! 

I made pancakes yesterday and I couldn't help notice this one looks
like a heart! 

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