Friday, November 30, 2012

Goodbye November & Hello December!

As November comes to a close, I am thankful for some many people and things in my life! I feel like November flew by, but I was able to take time to stop for a few moments and reflect on the things I am most thankful for! 
As December is here tomorrow I am so looking forward to Christmas and spending time with my family and I am also really excited for JC's dad to come visit! Christmas has always been my favorite time of year, I have fond memories of spending days in the kitchen with my mom baking and decorating cookies. I can only hope and pray that my kids will have the same fond memories of baking at Christmas time with me! I have been having lots of fun buying gifts for Christmas the last few days, I just love buying things for the people I love and trying to think of special things and ways to surprise them! I am also really excited that our Christmas cards will be sent out in the mail tomorrow! I am hoping to put up a few Christmas decorations tomorrow and spend lots of time with my love! 
On the Zoey note, she seems to have hurt her back because she is not playing with Zeke, she wont jump up on the couch or bed, and when she jumped off the bed this morning she cried. It makes my heart sad that she is hurt, but we are just praying and hoping that she feels better soon. So right now we are just being gentle with her and letting her have her space, which is hard for me to do because I just love my little girl so much! Zeke has really become my new buddy and he loves cuddling in bed with me in the morning (when daddy's not here that is). 
I hope your week was great and that you find time this weekend to make memories!


Went to a cookie party on Tuesday... SO many cookies! 

My friend Christina and I, I am 13 weeks & she is
19 weeks along... I know I look bigger than her!

I spent Wednesday night shopping online. Notice:
1. the pile of kleenexes in the back
2. Zeke's head cuddling right next to me! 

Wednesday night when I was super emotional, all I wanted to do was
pick up the phone and hear my mama's voice on the other end.

Sweet youth group girls thought of me when I was sick
Wednesday night! 

Who wouldn't love waking up to this sweet face?!

Zeke cuddling with his daddy... check out JC's awesome beard! 

Today was a Hot Chocolate kind of day... lots of whip cream and
chocolate sauce! Just the way I like it! 

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Overwhelmed by Emotions...

Tonight as I stayed home from teens because I am still trying to kick this cold that just won't go away, I am feeling overwhelmed emotionally. I'm sure this may have something to do with hormones! 

As I think about this Christmas, my heart sinks in my chest as I think about our Maggie Grace who would have been 11 months this Christmas. I think about how much fun it would have been to have her here with us now, and just how much I miss our sweet girl! As I was online looking at shadow boxes (I want to put her things in one along with her urn, and pics for her) my heart sinks again and my eyes fill with tears as I think about putting all that is Maggie Grace into a box. What a strange concept to put this baby, who I worked so hard to grow in my belly for nine months into a box, I just don't know how I feel about that. Even though I am growing another baby in my belly now I can't help but miss her. She will always be my first born and she will always hold a special place in my heart, but as the time goes on and we have more children I don't want her to not be present. This is just something I am trying to figure out and understand how to deal with these, because this is something that I never thought I would have to deal with. As the days go on I'm trying to think of a way to celebrate her first Birthday, but to be honest I just don't know what would be fitting. My Maggie Grace in on my heart tonight. 

My other little girl Zoey, is apparently afraid of me touching her since last night, I pet her back and she freaked out made an awful noise and ran away from me and she did the same thing tonight. I was hoping that she would be better today, but it doesn't seem like it, she didn't even take a nap with me today which is something she always does with me. Which is just making me really sad stupid hormones making me so sensitive, but I really don't like that my little girl seems to be scared of me.

So, today I have just been overwhelmed by emotions and I just want to feel better! Sorry for the complaints, but sometimes I just need to get things off my chest! I hope you are all having a great week so far, here in I.Falls we just seem to be collecting more snow! Here are just a couple pics from my week so far.


JC leading worship with the teens on Sunday!

Watched Home Alone on Sunday night, such a holiday classic! 

Our homemade Cinnamon Rolls! Delish! 

Saturday, November 24, 2012

Hello Baby Bump!

Over the last two weeks I feel like my belly has really popped! Making the reality that there really is another baby growing in my belly even more evident to me, it's getting hard to be comfortable while sleeping with this growing bump! I could not be happier to be sporting a bump for the second time & thankful it's not as big as it was last Christmas... it will make decorating the Christmas tree and baking Christmas cookies a lot easier! I only have roughly 1 week left of my first trimester, which I am thankful for and hoping that I will have a little more energy during my second trimester! 

In other news, I have been extremely blessed and thankful to have JC home and off of work the last few days! It's been great waking up with him everyday and spending all day together and just living life at a slow and relaxed pace. We went black friday shopping yesterday.. for the dogs, we got Zeke a new big bed and he spent last night sleeping on his bed and not in his kennel! He continues to impress us with his good behavior for only being about 9 months old. Thanksgiving night we got our first real snowfall and more fell today, it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas! I wanted to set up our tree this week, but JC is a strict believer in not decorating for Christmas until December... so I guess I will have to wait! JC's dad bought his plane tickets to fly out here for Christmas, so that's exciting! We haven't seen him in about a year since NH is a ways away! 

This week we'll be back to our busy schedule, I'm excited to go to a Christmas cookie decorating party on Tuesday! JC and I are going to make homemade cinnamon rolls for Monday morning, I'm excited to make them! I have wanted to make them for awhile but they always seem to intimidate me, but today JC said that he's made them before and would be happy to make them with me! I love when we are both in the kitchen making food together! I hope you have all had a fabulous holiday weekend and that your week is full of fun moments! 


Us super excited for Twilight! 

JC was gone a lot this day & the babies missed him! 

Happy Birthday to my love! 25 has never looked better! 

He has always wanted a flannel shirt, so he got one from
me for his Birthday! 

I could look at her sweet face all the time! 

Zeke coming in from all the snow yesterday! 

Even around the Falls it's starting to look like Christmas! 

Our little/ not so little boy on his new bed! 

The growth of my belly, hoping to get a belly pic once a month! 

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Giving Thanks

Giving thanks for what we have in our lives is something that we should do more then just once a year. However it's hard to remember what we are thankful for especially when we are faced with an uncertain future. Which is where JC and I are right now, however I feel like being faced with an uncertain future is what is making me look at my life and all the things I have to be thankful for... 

* My God
*My amazing, loving, supportive, kindhearted husband
*Baby Pistachio
*Our Maggie Grace & her short time with us
*My wonderful,loving and supportive family (on both sides!)
*My amazing friends who are always there
*Zoey & Zeke, my pups who always know how to make me laugh
*Food on the table
*Being pregnant for the second year in a row during the holidays!
*A roof over my head
*A pillow to rest my head on at night
*A healthy body
And the list goes on

May your Thanksgiving day be filled with moments of thankfulness and memories that will stay with you always! I pray that we will continue to remember to be thankful everyday of the year! 


Saturday, November 17, 2012

Hope in the Future

Life is carrying on at regular pace these days, our calendar for the rest of November is filling up and so is December. My doctor appointment went well on Tuesday, we were able to hear baby pistachio's heartbeat for a brief time little stinker liked hiding (which is easy to do when one is so little) Doctor Crossely said the heart rate was right around 170, so we'll have to see if this means another girl or not! My blood pressure has been high so I am back on my BP medicine once a day and go back for a BP check in a couple of weeks. 

Lately the word HOPE has struck a new core in my heart and what it truly means to have hope in the future and what is to come. My devotional has come to my rescue once again this week as I had a meltdown about what our future will hold and grabbed my devo and dug in. God knows what he is doing with this devo, it always relates to the struggles I'm having at the time. All I know is that I have Hope for our future and for our baby pistachio, I have Hope that this baby will be healthy and we will get to keep it, I have Hope that God will provide a job for JC and that we will find health insurance. I have to have Hope because if I didn't I would not be a true follower of Christ, When you have Hope in a God that you can't see or feel that is when you have tried and true Faith and Hope. 

I hope you all had a great week, JC is taking me to see (Twlight) today even though he doesn't want to see it. He is such a wonderful man and I love him SO much and could not imagine my life without him! After that we are spending the night in with each other... the kind of nights we cherish and look forward to! I am cherishing them even more now that baby is on the way and our date nights, and sleeping in mornings will be limited once baby gets here! I hope your weekend is filled with life giving moments and ones to cherish! Here are some pics from our week!


Monday morning we woke up to SNOW! So on went the warm hat
& cozy boots! 

Cuddling in bed with my boys! 

JC sealing up the windows with plastic to help
save on heating costs!

My before and after shot, I did it, I chopped 11 inches off!! I will be
donating my hair... just have to pick the organization.
I must say it's strange walking out of the salon with a bag of your hair haha! 

Thursday JC was gone all day, so I got chinese food for dinner put my
sweats on and watched whatever my little heart

Another shot with the new short hair, I must admit I'm
liking it a lot... so much easier! 

We started today out with some yummy pancakes! 

Sunday, November 11, 2012

The What If's...

I think in life it is always easy and common to play the what if game, I know I have done it often in my own life and I am right now. Wondering what if I miscarry this baby or we lose this one the way we did Maggie, what if we can't find health insurance, what if JC doesn't get hired on to stay here in I.Falls and can't find another job, what if I have high blood pressure and gestational diabetes again during this pregnancy.... and the list goes on.

I think it's ok to think about the what if's, but not ok to get too wrapped up in them. As Christians we are called to trust God especially when it comes to the what if's because he knows how it is all going to play out and it's pretty much of of our hands. 

All I know is that the what if's in my head are just that... what if's and I can't live daily wondering what is around the corner because honestly that is no way to live! What I do know is that God has always provided for JC and I and I know that he will continue!

"Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord" Jeremiah 17:7

When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. Psalms 56:3

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. Proverbs 3:5

Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act. Psalms 37:5 

This is going to be another pretty low key week, we have a doctor's appointment on Tuesday and looking forward to hearing baby pistachio's heartbeat! We saw it on the ultrasound a couple of weeks ago but didn't get to hear it, so that should be exciting. Trusting God to protect baby and me during this pregnancy, I have an overwhelming sense of peace that we will get a baby out of this pregnancy. So again I trust God with this little baby's life and know that his plan for this little life is much greater then what I could plan! So here's to another week full of adventure, cuddle time, and being entertained by our crazy pups! I hope to be taking more pictures this week! 


Friday, November 9, 2012


This past Wednesday JC did a talk on surrendering our lives to Jesus, boy has that been our story line since we have been married. We surrendered our future and what it holds to him the day we said I Do, we surrendered our baby Maggie Grace while she was in the womb and after we lost her, and now we find ourselves in another time of our lives to surrender.

With JC's job up in the air and no guarantee of us staying in International Falls, no job openings in MN, our health insurance running out at the end of the year, and a new baby growing in my tummy. It is safe to say that both mine and JC's stress level is at an all time high, I'm working on not being stressed and worrying because I know it is not good for me or the baby. Surrendering all of these things to Jesus is difficult but it's all that we can do, He calls us to surrender and trust him whole heartily. We are human and can not handle the weight of all these things on our shoulders, but we can do our part and pray, be applying to jobs, and searching out new insurance (that covers pregnancy, surprisingly a lot of insurances don't if you are just joining their insurance) I think the biggest key in this all is praying, trusting God, and knowing that he will provide like he always does.

I was just thinking today that "when will JC and I be done getting tested by God" then I realized I don't think he every stops testing us. I know that he test people in different ways, but man it sure feels like we have a lot of big things that we get tested on... sometimes it is very tiring. However having faith in our God and knowing that his timing is always perfect and that he always provides for us is what we must cling to to make it through the hard days, the stressful days, the tiring days, and on the good days too.

So here JC and I are standing at a crossroads once again in our lives, ready to settle down and start our family together, surrendering it all to the who made it all!

In other news, I am just exhausted these days! I think I forgot how truly tired I get when I'm pregnant, but I am so thankful to be carrying another baby and that is all that matters in my book! I ordered our Christmas cards this week and I'm excited to get them and send them to all the people we love. Next week I scheduled to get my hair chopped, and I mean chopped! I told JC that when I got pregnant again I was going to chop my hair at the beginning of the pregnancy to see how fast it grows, and I've decided that I will be donating my hair to locks of love. I hope you all have had a great week, I'm looking forward to a quite weekend with my love.


Monday, November 5, 2012

Baby Barber #2

So excited that I get to finally share the exciting news with you all, I am 10 weeks along with our new little one and feeling good! Mostly just extremely tired all the time, we did have an ultrasound done last week and we were able to see our grape sized baby. Everything looks great from what they could tell, baby had a strong heart beat of 187 and is growing right where it should be! Here is a pic of our little one! 

Doesn't look much like a baby yet, but it's getting there! 
My actually due date is June 4th, but since I will be having another c-section I will be scheduled for a c-section towards the end of May. We feel so blessed that God has gifted us with another little life and continue to pray everyday for baby's health! We were so excited to make this announcement that we came up with a few creative ideas of how to make the announcement, so here are some of the pics! 

The puppies are excited too, can't you tell! 

So excited for this little one! 

2 big cupcakes = 1 little Cupcake

All because two people fell in Love

Baby Pistachio

Dear Baby,
It has been 4 days since we found out about you growing in my tummy! We could not be more excited for this news, we found out a week before my birthday... and I could not ask for a better birthday grift! Mommy is so happy about you and can't wait to meet you!

When mommy was pregnant with your older sister Maggie Grace we never came up with a cute name to call her while she was growing in my tummy. So mommy wanted to come up with a cute name for you like jelly bean or gummy bear... but daddy came up with pistachio, so I said that was ok but if you end up being a girl we might have to change your name to cupcake.

So now you are lovely called our baby pistachio! So far you are making mommy very hungry and tired, which I remember from when I was pregnant with Maggie Grace... but not quite this early on. I keep joking with daddy that you might be twins... we will just have to wait and see! So far my biggest craving has been for egg drop soup which is a yummy soup from a chinese restaurant here in town with your sister I craved nachos early on. With you baby pistachio I was feeling nauseous early before I found out I was pregnant but I'm hoping that will go away, when I was pregnant with your sister I was hardly sick.

Just so you know your sister Maggie Grace is not here with us, but I am sure you already met her in heaven! We miss her lots and wish we could have kept her here with us but God had a different plan, so we are praying and hoping that we get to keep you because we so want a little baby to love and raise! Mommy and Daddy pray daily for your health and for a smooth pregnancy, we also thank God everyday for you! I just want you to know how loved and anticipated you are, I pray that the next few weeks fly by so we can see you and tell more people about you... mommy and daddy are both bad at keeping secrets especially exciting ones like this!!

Love you our baby pistachio!

Love, Mommy


It finally happened... those 2 little lines I have been waiting to see have appeared!! September 26th 2012 will go down in my book as one of the best days of my life!! It took us about 5 months to get pregnant, and I know that it doesn't sound long and that it takes other people even longer... but when you go through an entire pregnancy and then your baby passes away it feels like an eternity! To me this pregnancy will be a total of about 21 months of waiting, this includes my pregnancy with Maggie Grace and the time it took to get pregnant with this new little one!

Yesterday I was at church early to teach Release time, I had fun with my girls and then headed to JC's office to see him. I sat down and starting talking about this is the latest my period has been but I wasn't sure and didn't want to get my hopes up that we were pregnant. He just said can you please just take a test so we know, and I said I have one at home... he then preceded to ask if I could go get it and take it at the church. Knowing that if we were pregnant I didn't want to find out by myself, I went home and grabbed the test and drove right back to church ( the drive only takes about 5 minutes, but that day it felt like it took forever!) I was so nervous! I got back to church, I took the test but didn't want to look because I wanted us to find out together, even though I really wanted to peek. I had him look at the result  and when I saw that smile come over his face I knew it was positive, but it was still hard to believe! We instantly hugged and cried and I just said I am SO happy!! JC said we need to let Pastor Ryan and Pastor Darren know and have them pray over you... so those were the first people to know along with Marry who is the church secretary. We were surrounded by prayers and tears of excitement, it was a wonderful feeling!

I have been feeling different already with this pregnancy, my stomach has been more upset and I have been exhausted! So we will see how different this one is from Maggie Grace, as we proceed in this pregnancy I know both JC and I will be nervous and scared. I know I will be relieved once we get into the second trimester, but even then I know the worries will be in the back of my mind. However I am praying for peace, so that I don't get overwhelmed and stressed out because that's not good for baby either! I feel SO extremely blessed that God has gifted us with this new life and will continually pray for the baby's health, prayers of thankfulness and for a smooth pregnancy! I have my first doctor's appointment in a month and we will have our first ultrasound at 10 weeks, which will be a relief to see the baby that early on!

Thank you for those of you who have been praying and waiting right along with us! I am SO looking forward to sharing my pregnancy with you all and keeping a journal while I am pregnant.

God is Good all the time & all the time God is Good!!