I get it.

As I sit here on this rainy Tuesday morning, just sent the kids to their first "official" day of preschool (they've been going all summer, since mom works there.) I can't help but think about my Mama. 

Oh how I miss her so much, there are so many things I wish I could talk to her about & experiences I wish I could share with her. One of the biggest things I wish I could tell her is... I get it. Now that I'm a mommy myself, I get how tiring it is emotionally, physically somedays and just all around hard it is. I wish I could tell her, I now know why you didn't have energy to go run errands with me after you got home from work. I get why staying home on a Friday night sounded like perfection! Oh, Mama I wish you were here.

When I was younger and would picture myself becoming a mom, I never imagined in a million years that my Mom wouldn't be there to see that day. So many times during all of my pregnancies I would so wish I could pick up the phone and talk to her, ask her if how I was feeling was normal or if she ever felt that way. I would try to remember things she had told me about her pregnancies when I was growing up (it's much harder to recall now)if only I had kept notes growing up of all the things my Mama had said! 

I have discovered over the past several years how much it has and still does effect me to not have my Mom here. Especially when it comes to parenting, if only she was still here so I could pick her brain and ask for advice when it comes to parenting my two little rascals! I think JC & I do a decent job, but Mom's advice would have been nice to have. 

Being a motherless- mom... it's a tough role in this life to have, one that I never thought I would have to play. One that I struggle with from time to time and one that hits really hard somedays more than others. I am so thankful and feel so blessed to have had the Mom I did growing up. I can only hope that I can carry on her legacy of her crazy all consuming love for her kids to my own family and kids.

Mama--- I so get it now; the undeniable love for your own children, when mama bear needs to come out to protect them, when crazy mama needs to come out to discipline them, when comforting mama needs to come out because they need some extra cuddles and love somedays, when mama just needs to get a band aid (even though the scratch on their leg isn't actually bleeding) to make it fee l better. Oh how I now get it... I wish I could share these things with you. 

So here is to the motherless Mom's out there... I see you, I understand, know that God has you, and that you have mama friends out there that can be your support!! Don't be afraid of admitting on those really hard days that you need some extra support! Now, I'm going to wipe up these therapeutic tears and get ready for my work day! Blessings to you friends!

XOXO Bee