Last nights run.

Last night, I went for a run. It was suppose to be a 6 mile training run... with the way my shins have been feeling I knew that many miles wouldn't happen. I doubted I would even run. But I decided that I mentally needed the run... as the day went on I could feel my mood going down hill. I decided to put on my running gear, to be ready for when JC got home from work. 

After he got home I said a quick goodbye as I put my earbuds in, excited to hit the pavement and hopefully push myself a little. The plan was to do 2 miles, keep it easy but get my legs moving. I started to run out strong... a little faster than I should have, had to stop to catch my breath. As I got further from I started to feel tears well up in my eyes and then they just flowed down my face. Something I didn't think that had affected me much hit me like a ton of bricks. At .54 I sat down and let myself feel all the feelings. 
This is what running is for me. It is so therapeutic and lets me clear my head. I am a true believer that ever run has it's purpose; to push yourself and achieve a new personal record, for therapy, to just be, there are good runs, hard runs, runs that seem to last forever or sometimes feel like they don't last long enough. Sometimes miles go by quickly, sometimes they don't. 


Running. It's a love of mine and one that pushes me. Lately putting on my running shoes has been a struggle, I have doubt in myself and fear. Something I am working on and hope to push through and cross the finish line on June 22nd. This is where I am, I have learned that I need to allow myself and my body to be in the moment and feel what comes. So if that means I just run 2.52 miles instead of 6, that's what I need to do.

As I prepare for my longest training run tomorrow morning (12 miles) I am both excited and nervous. I just need to stay in a positive head space to get through it, hopefully the weather cooperates & I'm also praying that my shins also don't bother me too much! 

As I said before I am beyond excited to be running for Still I Run (Runners for mental health Awareness) and for all who suffer with their mental health. The runners in the community are know as road warriors.. how fitting that I got my "warr;or" tattoo right before I become part of the community. The tattoo stands for what I have been through, what I'm going through & where life will bring me. 

Just a few thoughts on where I am right now with running and my mental strength. It's a fight, but I refuse to give up or give in. I know that this too shall pass & it's just another season in life. I am thankful for a God who lies me right where I am at, A supportive husband & kiddos who are always there to cheer me on and for legs that allow me to run (even if they get a little tired!) 

XOXO Bee